I woke up feeling like I’d run a marathon this morning, but without the endorphins. I’ve been sitting here sort of staring at the screen, then off into the distance, waiting for my eyes and mind to connect with my will power so I can get writing. I imagine this is when other people would drink coffee but I haven’t had any for about 4 years now. Stimulants and tanked out adrenals don’t really agree – it’s like pounding the gas peddle on a car with no gas. I am the car.
The pic above isn’t really related to what I was saying, I just think it’s funny. Bless you Rowan Atkinson. I actually had a clairvoyant tell me before I got ill that my body was like an old car and if I kept pushing myself something would snap and it’d have a big impact on my life. At the time I was incredibly busy with my final semester of University and working several jobs (some for work experience, so unpaid) and I was also going out socially whenever I could to try and claim some ‘fun’ time amongst all the work. I understood what the clairvoyant was saying but couldn’t see how I could remove any of my commitments and so I pushed through, and in the end I did snap at a health level. In a pretty big way!
I can hear alarm bells going off in some peoples’ minds…”oh no, she believes in psychics!” I’ve always been a believer in spiritual things but I feel like I need to stress that it doesn’t mean I don’t have the capacity to understand (or have a healthy respect for) science. It means fundamentally I believe we don’t know more than we do know and maybe some of the more maligned esoteric stuff will make sense in some scientific way in the future. There is definitely a lot of bullshit being spouted and charlatans in the New Age sphere that rip people off and the awesome Derren Brown has gone into depth explaining this but I think there are others who are genuine. Whatever your view, the take home message is: I think it is possible to be both rational and respectful of science and to hold room for things a little less empirically justified.
I was watching this the other day and I found it pretty convincing but I know others will see it and think it’s a load of BS for one reason or another. Until someone comes back from the dead and tells us once and for all what goes down when we pass on then it’s still open to discussion IMO and I’m choosing to believe that we’re not just compost.
I do love the atheist perspective I’ve heard from time to time though: why focus on an afterlife when the one we have, here, right now is so precious and unique and miraculous considering everything it took to bring about the life each of us has. That’s beautiful and I think you can apply that philosophy of living in the moment and being grateful and in awe of nature, whatever other beliefs you hold.
(This one was taken in Tasmania, Australia. Doesn’t it just make you feel peaceful looking at it?)
Ok. I *so* didn’t set out to talk about science, religion and spirituality today! Dangerous waters with some people who get really worked up about these issues but it’s something I think about a fair bit – and, it’s my blog… so whatevs.
Just my opinion, man.
So MB and I went couch shopping yesterday. MB has had a good tax return which will enable us to make a few much needed purchases and because I spend so much time on the couch or in bed, we’ve been planning to replace the existing lounge which hurts my back/neck. Actually at the moment I’m spending most of my time on one of these:
It’s from a company called Noomi* that make oversized bean bags. The lady depicted looks much more photo ready than I do, but that’s why you’re getting a picture of her, not me.
Couch shopping is probably about the best sort of retail activity I could conceivably be involved in at this stage. Lying down on various comfortable surfaces for a time then moving on to other comfortable surfaces…probably would only be rivalled by mattress shopping. In all seriousness though, we had to wait for a ‘good day’ even to be able to get out and look at lounges. Good news: we found one.
Look at that poofiness. So comfortable. I read some reviews online that said the padding can flatten a bit over time but it was by far the best we saw. Here’s me lying on it, not wanting to move…ever.
Might be a while before we can get it delivered though as apparently they come from overseas and they don’t have heaps in stock right now. I swear, it’s like lying on a cloud.
(this guy’s taking business calls from his cloud – modern day Monkey Magic? There’s a pun in there about data too but I’m not going there.)
Did my weekly pill box this morning. It’s a little ritual that keeps me from forgetting my doses but also makes it impossible to forget I’m treating an illness, such is the frequency of doses. If I go out the pill box comes too. It’s a love/hate relationship.
This is actually a fairly modest amount of pills. I’ve bought a deeper one recently in anticipation of ramped up treatment protocol after surgery next month. It also doesn’t include the injections I get twice a week and all the liquid sachets and drops. It’s a full time job being compliant with treatment. It’s also rather expensive. I cringe now when my Dr wants to add something in or test for something else that might then lead to another pill or jab or sachet of foul-tasting powder. I think when I am in remission, whenever that time comes, I’m going to be one of the most annoyingly happy people around. Just the absence of so many pills would feel amazing.
For those who might be thinking this is bad practice from the Dr and risky to take a lot of pills – I can assure you that everything is done safely and under close scrutiny, not only is MB a nurse and more than qualified to help with injections but I also get bloods taken every month or so to check liver, kidneys and overall health. This is a carefully tailored and monitored process. In HIV/AIDS often patients are on lots of pills too, because their immune systems are so compromised that their body needs so much support. I’m not equating Lyme Disease to HIV/AIDS, just stating that in certain medical instances it is necessary to treat more heavily and on more fronts at once.
Good news: the anti-candida diet I was doing for a few weeks to minimise the risk of yeast overgrowth due to antibiotic treatment…I’m finished with the first stage and can eat berries again. May not sound like much but if you’ve ever gone completely off sugars and starches you find after a few days your taste really amplifies and things like nuts and vegetables taste sweet and more complex in flavour. Berries, then, are off the charts! They’re one of the things I look forward to in summer and have been enjoying these little blue bursts of deliciousness lately…
They also happen to be *really* good for you. Win-win.
Okay that’s it for me for today. Reporting from a giant bean bag in my living room. Over and out.
*Not a paid shill mentioning this product, I just like it.